White House staff fired for marijuana usage

AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana


White House Press Secretary, Jen Psaki, confirmed that six White House staff members have been fired for past marijuana use. This reversal comes mere weeks after the Biden administration announced their intention to be more lenient towards employees who confessed to using the drug in the past.

Psaki explained: “Our policy was that past marijuana usage would not be immediately disqualifying, as it has been for every single Presidential staff in the past. We gave no guarantees that it may prove a deciding factor at a later stage. Continuing our track record as the most progressive administration of all time, and delivering the reform this country so sorely needs, we did not immediately disqualify the six employees who had indicated past marijuana usage, instead choosing to review and terminate their employment on a case by case basis.”

This decision puts the White House at odds with a majority of the country, with the legalization of marijuana proving to be overwhelmingly popular within both major parties. One of the fired staff members took their opportunity to criticize the decision, as they were being escorted from the grounds:

“C’mon man! This is a bunch of malarkey! All cause of one little brownie! That was thirty years ago, Mack! The sixties were a different time! That was Woodstock and we shared everything back then. There was this Dutch dame from Amsterdam, with gams from here to Ruckersville, not a stitch on her, and lemme tell you, no man would turn down what she was selling and that’s a fact, Jack.”

In unrelated news, Psaki also announced that President Kamala Harris will be sworn in on Monday.

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