Trump issues arrest warrant for Salaman bin Abdulaziz, wrongly thinking Saudi King is Iranian ally


In a bizarre twist to an unfurling political drama between Iran and the USA, president Trump has announced an arrest warrant for King Salaman of Saudi Arabia – a key US ally. This move comes hot on the heels of a similarly controversial warrant issued against the President by Iranian leadership in response to the assassination of their top General, Qasem Soleimani, in January. After publishing an inflammatory tweet denouncing Iran, Barack Obama and Jeff Bezos, in which the President swore retaliation against the Islamic Republic and regular gibberish, White House leadership called a press conference to announce their expedited decisions. Speaking on the lawn of the White House, the President held up a piece of paper that looked suspiciously like something downloaded and printed from google images and declared that the DOJ had issued a warrant for the arrest of Iranian conspirator Salaman bin Abdulaziz al Saud. 

In the moments that followed the President was forced to parry and largely ignore a number of questions from journalists who pointed out that Salaman is actually the King of Saudi Arabia – a key US ally in the Middle East and a fierce opponent of Iran. In typical form the President then launched into another tirade against Barack Obama, the Iran deal – which he then temporarily forgot he had already withdrawn from – and China. The press announcement then ended when his security officials started beating journalists for no real reason.

In response, King Salaman has only issued the following brief statement : “I think he is confused. I am not responsible for Iranian war crimes or their nuclear program. Just 9/11. Teehee.”

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