Trump administration launch image rehabilitation campaign


Several senior Trump administration officials have launched an image rehabilitation campaign ahead of Joe Biden’s inauguration on January 20th. An unnamed insider reveals that the consultant responsible for George W. Bush’s rebrand from hated war criminal to loveable, harmless painter, a move widely known as the “Reverse Hitler”, has been working with a number of White House staff on an ad hoc basis, with a formal contract expected to be announced following their departure from the White House.

Reports allege that those hoping to follow in the footsteps of Sean Spicer, who successfully waltzed from a reputation as the second coming of Joseph Goebbels to a prime time slot on Dancing With The Stars, are Vice President Mike Pence, Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin and First Son In Law, Jared Kushner. 

Despite presently being some of the most hated men in America, Pence, Mnuchin and Kushner, do have the head start of not being responsible for the deaths of over one million people and the currently ongoing occupation of Iraq so the laundering of their reputations should be much more straightforward than the makeover of George W. Bush, who took eight years and at least one piece of candy to earn redemption.

While currently considered persona non-grata in the public sphere, Trump staff have been advised to take some time out of the public eye before returning with an inoffensive hobby or pastime. Consequently, Mike Pence is planning to focus on his Marlon Bundo series of children’s books, with his bigotry taking more of a backseat. Pence hopes to bring Bundo to the big screen with the aid of Steve Mnuchin, who will be returning to his pre-politics career, producing Academy Award winning movies, such as Suicide Squad. Meanwhile Jared Kushner will be erasing America’s unpleasant memories of him by staring in a Subway ad campaign.

While President Trump himself has yet to concede defeat, should his attempts to contest the election prove unsuccessful, he is believed to have lined up a slot on The Masked Singer with the hope that by the inauguration of the next Republican President, the American people will look on Trump as a kindly grandfather figure and his presidency as the halcyon days of civility and respectability in US politics.

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