Rural Filipino man endorses Facebook’s Meta rebrand

Facebook rebrands as Meta. Courtesy Facebook/via REUTERS

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A middle-aged Filipino man has announced his support for Facebook’s much anticipated rebranding. Speaking to his wife and seven children, he endorsed the decision by the ubiquitous social media giant, Facebook, to change their name to Meta. Wagging a wry finger he informed his disinterested audience, “Facebook? Too long. It takes too much to say. Meta? Nice and short. Very easy.” 

Raoul Lim, a rural coconut farmer who lives on Hinatuan island, is the local Facebook expert, despite the fact he doesn’t have a domestic internet connection. Instead, once a week, he takes his motorbike into the nearest town where he sits himself down in an internet cafe, using the internet connection to check Facebook and click on ads for hot single women in his area. 

Raoul is one of Facebook’s 2.91 billion monthly users although his network only extends as far as thirty-one friends – most of whom he sees regularly – along with his nephew who got a scholarship to attend Northwestern University in Illinois – whom he pesters relentlessly. On Facebook, Raoul is renowned for being fairly cheeky: posting endearing insults to his various friends walls and sharing jpegs of hot single women in his area, who he pretends are his “girlfriends.” He also shares his vocal support for the country’s murderous President, Rodrigo Duterte, even when people ask him to leave his politics at home.

Asked about the Metaverse and whether he will be joining it, Raoul collects his thoughts and replies, sagely, “Bitcoin is not going to make it. Coconuts much better currency.”

Back home, he tries to impress upon his favourite child, six year old Franco, who loves football and dreams of smoking cigarettes one day just like his dad, insisting “Meta. Very classy name. Not English. Greek. Delightful homage. Too much English these days, everything is English. Made in China but with English name. About time we learn more Greek.”

Confused, Franco merely nods obediently.

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