On anniversary of 9/11 Trump wonders if he can put name on Twin Towers

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Today commemorates the 19th anniversary of 9/11 in the United States. As has become tradition, the President led ceremonies by hosting a morning service in Shanksville, Pennsylvania – the crash site of United flight 93. While the ceremony went without any major gaffes – a critical success for a president who has described deceased American soldiers as “suckers” and “losers” – the President seemed in a pensive mood as a potent thought racked his mind: “Maybe I can finally put my name on the twin towers.”

Though he didn’t share this revelation with any of his advisors, a transcript of text messages sent between Donald Trump Jr. and an unknown number seemed to expand on these thoughts.

—TRANSCRIPT—

Unknown: Twin Towers. Update?

Trump Jr.: What?

Unknown: Can we get the Trump name up there?

Trump Jr.: How?

Unknown: The Trump Twin Towers.

Trump Jr.: They don’t exist anymore.

Unknown: Rebrand?

Trump Jr.: 9/11.

Unknown: …

Trump Jr.: Just ask whoever you’re next to.

Unknown: This lame field would be a good place for a hotel. 

Trump Jr.: Where?

Unknown: Pencilvania (sic). Yyyuge potential. (Dollar sign emojis).

Trump Jr.: Trump 93?

Unknown: 93 is an amazing number – a very proud number. 93 losers died for that number.

Trump Jr.: United 93 was the plane.

Unknown: What does Jared think?

Trump Jr.: He thinks it was the number of the plane.

Unknown: What’s Ivanka up to?

Trump Jr.: Why should I know? Ask her yourself.

Unknown: I’m sorry if I was ever mean to you, Don Jr. 

Trump Jr.: Thx Dad.

Trump Jr.: I’m still not giving you my six iron.

Unknown: You’re fired.

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