New Zealand soccer team to ditch “All Whites” moniker


The New Zealand soccer team is set to abandon its nickname of All Whites following a cultural sensitivity review. The nickname, a play on the All Blacks rugby team and a reference to the team’s white kit, has been in use since the 1982 World Cup qualifying campaign but is set to be retired, amid claims that it is racially insensitive. A number of other nicknames were considered including: The Other All Blacks, The Round Ball All Blacks, The Shit All Blacks and the Kicking Kiwis, which was vetoed after animal rights groups insisted it could be misread as encouragement. As a result the team will now be known as the Predominantly Whites But Only Due To A Longstanding History Of Colonialism Which Has Led To The Eradication Of Indigenous Culture And Its Replacement With A Eurocentric Hegemony, As Opposed To Any Ideological Commitment To Racial Supremacy. 

Whilst the rebrand has been overwhelmingly popular amongst New Zealand soccer fans, online “color-blind” activists have taken to Twitter to make their voices heard. FootieRacist88 posted “Disgraceful abandonment of our heritage? Is it wrong to be white now? I won’t be supporting you at the next World Cup”, while Based_Brexit_Lad contributed “Why not call them the All Rainbows instead? Bloody trans ruining the game”, and NotRealDonaldTrump tweeted “So SAD to see losers New Zealand ashamed of their name. If I was from New Zealand or liked soccer I would be very angry about this. Make The All Whites White Again!” 

This move follows a number of teams abandoning historically dated names in favor of a more inclusive nickname. Indeed a number of sports franchises in the U.S. have rebranded, with the Cleveland Indians becoming the Cleveland Guardians, the Washington Redskins becoming the Washington Football Team and the Charlottesville Klansmen becoming the Charlottesville Confederates.

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