Mystery auction winner flakes on once-in-a-lifetime trip to space

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A mystery auction winner who paid $28 million to join Jeff Bezos on his trip to space has withdrawn from the once-in-a-lifetime trip due a “scheduling conflict”. Despite spending an eye-watering amount of money to be a part of this pioneering trip, which would see its participants spend eleven minutes in Earth’s orbit, the anonymous millionaire has now realized that he cannot attend since he “forgot he had already made plans.” 

Reports from close to the mystery donor suggest that his statement may, in fact, be a white lie simply used as a guise because he is “just not really feeling up to it.” The individual has admitted to close friends that he doesn’t have any apprehensions about the prospect of space travel but just isn’t really ready for the social commitment. The insiders report also mentions that the individual had recently taken to posting Buddhist proverbs on his social channels before announcing that he was taking a break from social media altogether for “mental health reasons.” While he realizes that the reputational cost of this withdrawal is steep (although not quite as high as the dollar cost) he seems unperturbed by the consequences. 

While his place on the flight won’t go to waste – as an 18 year old high school graduate whose ticket was paid for by his rich daddy will take his place – it seems this high profile faux pas is only the latest in a string of flakiness that the man has become renowned for. Previously he has reneged on a commitment to attend Taylor Swift’s Grammy Award Party and called off attending the White House Press Correspondents Dinner, complaining about jet lag. Other notable absences include a list of charity dinners which he bought premium tickets to, and the opening of his own University, which was even named after him. Perhaps fortunately, the gentlemen was a no-show at Little St James despite receiving an exclusive invitation from the disgraced financier, Jeffrey Epstein, to party on his private island.

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