Last post box in USA taken to warehouse from Indiana Jones

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The last remaining post box in the United States is currently en route to the warehouse from Raiders of the Lost Ark, which houses the Ark of the Covenant, the lesser spotted Crystal Skull and several other magic, historical artifacts. President Trump has received criticism from a number of fronts for his ongoing war against the U.S. Postal Service, with many, including the President himself, accusing him of deliberately defunding the mail in the run up to the election in order to influence or invalidate the outcome. 

Asked at a press briefing, the President took full responsibility for the decision. “It’s magic folks. You know, the letters. They go in, they come out somewhere else. We don’t really understand. I don’t really understand. So we’ve taken them away and we’re going to be studying them.”

With the number of mail boxes rapidly declining, the box in Mankato, Minnesota was the only remnant prior to its removal earlier this week. The box was one of the oldest in the nation, having been in place for almost a century. It first came to international attention as an anachronism spotted in the background of an episode of Little House On The Prairie.

Minnesota Governor, Tim Walz, lamented the removal of the box with his remarks: “More than just a way to send and receive mail, this was really the way we communicated with the past and it’s gone now to some mysterious warehouse.”

The departure of the final mail box comes despite a long campaign of petitions and letter writing, with an overnight vigil unable to prevent the box being loaded into the back of a truck in the early hours of the morning. One of the guardians of the box was a Professor Jones of Marshall College who said “It’s a historical artifact, it belongs in a museum.”

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