Joe Biden: your grandpa’s avengers?


Joe Biden’s latest attempt to bolster his flagging youth support backfired this week with the launch of his latest voter outreach programme. Democratic strategists have identified young voters as a major weakness for the Biden campaign, along with Hispanic voters, progressive voters, educated voters and policy driven voters. However, a series of focus groups have identified that the key to raising Biden’s appeal is not to focus on him as an individual, but to instead sell him as the leader of a group of Democratic Avengers.

“Many young people see Joe as old, past it, out of touch, indifferent to their concerns and in fact directly responsible for many of the largest challenges facing their generation and you know, for the most part that they’re right.” said a Biden campaign strategist. “For whatever reason, young people just don’t get that excited about an old man who openly boasts about having no empathy for them.

What we’ve found is that the less people see, hear or think about Joe Biden, the better that is for him. With older generations we’ve had great success by hammering Biden’s strengths, such as not being Donald Trump, but younger voters are a little bit more selfish so we had to take a slightly different tack.

And this was what led us to the Democratic Avengers. Kids these days are obsessed with the Avengers! Of the focus groups we polled, 87% of the participants supported Medicare For All but 94% of them had seen the Avengers!

That was when we realized we needed to stop selling Joe Biden the candidate and start selling Joe Biden the Cinematic Universe.

The young people love Senator Sanders for some reason, even though he’s as old as Joe, so what we’re saying is by voting for Joe, you’re actually voting for Bernie. For Warren. For Buttigieg. For Booker. Even for Steyer if that’s your thing. Maybe there’ll even be a post-credit cameo from his old friend Barack!”

However, this strategy seems to have backfired after the latest slew of gaffes befell the Biden campaign. Firstly, the marketing department photoshopped Biden into images from the 1960s British TV series The Avengers as opposed to the hugely popular superhero franchise. 

Secondly, a formatting error led to the word “NOT” being cropped from the slogan “NOT YOUR GRANDPA’S AVENGERS”.

“We really should have approved the design before printing. But you live and you learn. Joe didn’t get everything right the first time he ran for President.” conceded the Biden strategist. “So now we have 20,000 t-shirts, 500,000 calculators and 1,000,000 stickers lying about the place. People actually suggested that we just bite the loss and trash the entire order but the last thing we want to do is give people the idea that the Biden campaign is slow, out of touch and not committed to the environment.”

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