Joe Biden introduces satanic ritual to inauguration proceedings now that the deep state pedophiles have won


The final capitulation of American democracy took place today as Joe Biden was sworn in as the 46th President of the United States of America. The inauguration of Mr. Biden has consecrated the long sought after victory of the deep state pedophiles over the world’s nominated savior, Donald J. Trump. According to many, Wednesday, January 20th, was to be the day of reckoning when President Trump and his secret agent, Christian, power ranger team overthrew the cabal of Hollywood and Washington elites to liberate the spirit of Democracy, but the storm never came. Instead as Trump quietly parked himself in Mar-al-Lago, Joe Biden and his deep state cronies introduced a conspicuous satanic ritual into the inauguration to commemorate their victory. 

The ritual itself was a despicable sort of thing that the publishers of this periodical will not dignify with description, but it was undoubtedly a satanic ritual. Not a Friendly Ritual, not a Polish Ritual, not an Space Ritual, not a Random Ritual, not a Crips Ritual, not a Stargazing Ritual, but a Satanic Ritual. While many of these rituals are broadly similar it was the consumption of the flesh of an unborn child, in this case as an hors d’oeuvre, that signified this as a demonstrably Satanic Ritual.

Further evidence of the Satanic nature of this ritual confirms that as Joe Biden took the oath of office he inflected his oath with a specific lilt that, when played backwards, clearly says “the end of days is nigh. We are the chosen. All hail satan, all hail John Lennon, and ….  oh, shit, sorry, I mean, Lenin.”

In case anyone is still unconvinced by the legitimacy of the Satanic Ritual, one must only point to the pentagram necklace Joe Biden adorned for the ceremony, as seen in image above, for the evidence that is clearly undeniable.

Proponents of Democracy are now in disarray as the recently internet-scrubbed, paladin Donald Trump has faded into a relative obscurity. Dark days remain ahead as Joe Biden threatens to rejoin the Paris Climate Accord and tackle Covid, providing the USA with a healthier pool of tasty children for generations to come. The next four years will prove to be a great reckoning for the new resistance of true patriots and a new champion will emerge to challenge this twisted cabal of sorcerers and communists. Frontrunners for which position include Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Lil Wayne, and Joe Exotic.

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