Horses turn to Pfizer following Ivermectin shortage


As the horse de-worming medication, Ivermectin, becomes popular as a coronavirus treatment amongst humans, shortages are leading desperate horses to turn to Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine.

Ivermectin has found a second life as a treatment for COVID-19, enjoying a huge surge in popularity over recent weeks. Graduates of the Pharmacology Institute of Life and other self-certified medical experts are testifying to the benefits of the drug, which has promoters across the political spectrum, with everyone from Republican Senators to Fox News pundits endorsing Ivermectin. 

Paducah, Kentucky resident Mike Davis swears by the wonder drug, testifying that not only did it cure him of coronavirus, it also left him 100% worm free. “I only wish we’d known about it before my father passed. Or, should I say, was murdered at the hands of Dr Anthony Fauci.” Michael Davis Sr died of COVID-19 weeks before Ivermectin came to prominence as an alternative remedy and shortly before his son obtained a steady supply of the drug courtesy of a local cattle ranch. “It just makes you think, what could have been different you know? Is there anyway I could have protected my father? I would have moved heaven and earth to save him. I would have done anything except taking the vaccine that is being pushed on us by the new world order.” 

Davis remains intensely suspicious of the coronavirus vaccination, which he refers to as a “Democrat mind-control plot”. “You know I heard it can make you infertile? They’re sterilising us like cattle. At 89 years of age, some may say that’s not a concern for my father but I am pro-choice and I believe that is his discretion and I will be damned if Dr Fauci is going to chop my dad’s balls off. No vaccine for us! I think it’s truly sad what some people are willing put in their bodies these days,” mused Davis before consuming his daily ration of horse dewormer.

This unexpected rush on Ivermectin has seen suppliers unable to meet demand, with many states running dry, leaving thousands of worm-infested horses without treatment and many turning to the coronavirus vaccination in desperation. 

This practice has been heavily criticised by the equine community, with Star, the Clydesdale horse, being one of many to speak out: “There is zero scientific evidence to support the idea that the Pfizer vaccine is effective at treating worms and in fact may well prove to be incredibly harmful to our species. We would urge horses to refrain from taking Pfizer or any of the other coronavirus vaccines on the market and to instead trust medically supported treatments.”

Billy the Mule was an early recipient of Pfizer, with Billy and his family being vaccinated with surplus doses at an Arizona clinic. “We’ve gotta look out for our own. Those fancy city horses are telling us not to take the vaccine but I reckon they just want it all for themselves!”

George the Police Horse had attended many vaccination sites in an official capacity and testified to the chaos:  “Let me tell you, it can get pretty ugly. Some places are flat out refusing to vaccinate non-humans and oftentimes these horses have travelled across states so believe me when I say things kick off. Some horses are very pro-vaccine, some are anti. I’ve seen herds break up because of it. Yeah, you can lead a horse to Pfizer but you can’t make him drink.”

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