European Super League teams looking to sell bogus Rings of Power they were given as founding members


The owners of several clubs involved with the, effectively dismantled, European Super League are looking to sell the Rings of Powers they were gifted for being founding members. After withdrawing from the league less than 48 hours after its announcement, the executives of teams including Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United, Atletico Madrid and Inter Milan are seeking to recoup some costs from the failed project, as well as the apparently fraudulent rings.

The Rings of Power concept was reportedly devised by Real Madrid Chairman, Florentino Perez. The idea had been to award one ring each to the twelve founding members, pure in their intent; three for the followers, brave in their belief; five for lucky ones, relieved as all hell. Each ring would allow the holder and their team to exert unmitigated power over all world football. The plan however had a critical flaw. They hadn’t yet created one One Ring to rule them all. 

Without the clandestine support of the One Ring, it seems that they were basically just High School Graduation Rings and the clubs were easily overcome by a grand coalition of fans, players, politicians, and other executives who threw their digital voices against the gates of privilege. Naturally, various members of this cabal of breakaway elites were upset with how things transpired and now seek to expunge the incident by getting rid of their rings. 

Liverpool Owner, John W. Henry says “We sold our souls for those rings and they brought us 48 hours of hell. What the hell?! The rings were meant to allow us to control our fans, not to unite them against us. Now we find out that the rings are bogus and we will be disqualified from the Champions League next year. I wish there was a volcano nearby which I could throw it in!”

Rumours from inside the home, “Silent” Stan Kroenke (known by some as the Witch King of Arsenal), suggest that the American business tossed his ring into the fire and spent hours examining it, possibly trying to discover hidden elvish script concealed in the varnish. Not long after, it was reported that KSE (Kroenke Sports Entertainment) were seeking to auction both the ring and their place in the European Super League to high-profile buyers from India and Nigeria under the premise of untold riches. 

Real Madrid chairman, Perez, is the only one to have really come out fighting. He claims that if the Super League had just been announced a month or two later he would have been able to complete the One Ring and the ESL would have thus taken over the world. In his view, the failure of the ESL is because of both Fornite and small-minded elves who remain strict disciples of tradition and impervious to change. Even at this stage, though, he refuses to admit defeat and has vowed to compel a new ringmaker, probably the guy who makes them for the NFL champions, to forge ahead his vision.

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