Cuomo on resignation: “I did terrible things to protect the people of New York”

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New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, announced his resignation today on the back of a spate of sexual harassment allegations. The Democratic governor, who was into his third term in office, had been praised by many for his response and handling of the ongoing Coronavirus Pandemic, despite being subject to investigations by both the FBI and the State Attorney General. Simultaneously he became embroiled in a series of allegations from former colleagues and staff who accused the Governor of creating a toxic work culture and repeated instances of sexual harassment. The mounting pressure from within his own party eventually pushed Cuomo to resign his position effective from August 23rd. In his resignation statement a surprisingly reflective Cuomo pondered the state of his own sanity, admitting that he “did terrible things to protect the people of New York.”

Expanding in greater length, in a New York Times op-ed, Cuomo wonders if the burden of responsibility became too great for him. “New Yorkers, this may be the end of line for us but please know that I did everything I could for the people of this great state. From delivering same-sex marriage, legalizing pot, trying, ham-fistedly, to fix the NYC Subway, and securing the Reproductive Health Act, I spent every waking moment of my eleven years in office dedicated to advancing my career, which, inevitably, meant helping you amazing people.

As I worked tirelessly for the citizens of New York there were moments when some primordial power came over me. I would slip into these states of frenzy, not realizing how deep I was in until it had passed. I had some of my best hours and nights in those moods. But the good came with the bad. As I was launching voting rights reform I would find myself smitten with crude sexual innuendo. During my time legislating against homelessness I developed an affliction for strip poker. On the night we pushed through the reproductive health act I found myself forcing myself on colleagues who I had only considered 6’s before. It was a mad force of power that I could not control. The worst part: it all came from my desire to help people.

They say, ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ but I would like to add: that with great responsibility comes blue balls. It’s all fun and games to have a romp when you’re young and anonymous, but once you become Governor you can’t have sex anymore! It’s a basic human need and no one wants to touch you with an eight-foot pole. Or if they do it’s probably just to blackmail you later down the line! It’s shocking. But maybe it’s a responsibility I just wasn’t ready for. I’m sorry for the sins I’ve committed as your Governor, but please know that everything I did, all the terrible things, I did for you New Yorkers.”

Speculation insists that the soon-to-be ex-Governor is a top candidate to join the CNN News team where he can join his brother, Chris, in a poorly conceived Spanish-language program called “¿Cuomo Estás?”. Accepting this role would mean turning down other lucrative options from both the Weinstein Group and Baylor University. While the prospect of a future Presidential run remains a likely scenario, Cuomo is reportedly considering a retreat from the public sphere altogether where he may take up a position as the resident gardener at Little St James.

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