C’mon Mac: Biden debuts McDonalds collaboration

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President Biden has defended himself from the allegations that he wants to cut America’s meat consumption, instead debuting the first Presidential burger, in association with McDonalds. 

Everyone from Fox News commentators to Republican members of Congress have accused the president of conspiring to limit Americans to 4lbs of red meat or one burger per month, as part of his goal to cut emissions and battle climate change. Notable Right-Wing Uncle, T-Dawg, joined the chorus of conservatives voices criticizing Biden, posting an image of a rattlesnake eating a cheeseburger accompanied by the NRA slogan “From My Cold Dead Hands” to his Facebook page.

However, President Biden has fired back at his critics, denying that he is anti-meat: “One burger a month? Now listen here man, that’s a load of malarkey. I don’t know who told you that but they ain’t right in the head, jack. There is nothing, nothing more American than a burger and a shake. Those dames with the roller blades? Sliding over to your car with the little plastic tray? If you were lucky they’d be finishing their shift and you got a meal and a date for the drive in for a buck and change! I’d say “Now doll you roll over here and come see me when you clock out and-“

But we ain’t getting rid of meat! That’s a bunch of baloney! Dating back to the pilgrims hunting buffalo on the great plains, we’ve been a nation of meat lovers. No offence to the vegans. So one burger a month? That’s minimum! Minimum! And to support us on this meat drive, McDonalds have debuted a new burger: the C’Mon Mac!”

The C’Mon Mac consists of three 1.6 oz Irish beef patties, McDonald’s trademark Big Mac sauce, lettuce, cheese, onions, pickles and onions, served in an Irish soda bread bun made to Great Grandma Biden’s traditional recipe and garnished with a single feather plucked from a bald eagle. The first two hundred recipients of the C’Mon Mac will also receive a promotional stars and stripes burger box which plays the national anthem, a plastic Guinness/soda cup and a limited edition Biden/Ronald McDonald bobble head.

The news of the collaboration has sparked envy in one former President, and notorious fan of McDonalds, who criticized the arrangement as “A very bad deal!” on a promotional tour for Papa John’s new MAGAroni & Cheese menu item.

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