After disparaging Biden’s mask in first presidential debate Trump releases world’s smallest facemask


Today Donald Trump has announced the product launch of the world’s smallest PPE mask.  After disparaging the size of Joe Biden’s apparently massive mask during the first presidential debate on September 29th, the Trump campaign has been working hard to create a rival icon that represents their stance on Covid-19. The result: a tiny black mask only three inches wide and one and a half inches tall.

While the mask is certainly iconic it has already divided opinion – which, to be fair, is mostly the intention. Many Trump supporters have been lauding the mask on social media and Qanon webpages while healthcare professionals wearily point out that it offers very little practical protection against Covid or any other sort of airborne virus. 

Ardent Trump supporter and professed mask expert, Leon Lollard, thinks the mask design is inspired. “Not only is it a symbolic rebuke against the tyranny of the Democrats and their associated Deep State cronies,” he explains, “it’s an artful to homage to our great hero: Charlie Chaplin.” Another mask enthusiast, Sarah Bitters, declared she had already ordered two dozen masks that her infant children were going to wear proudly around town and which would be immortalized on her Facebook wall to let potential friends and colleagues know her family were passionate about freedom. 

Trump himself was energized as he continued his nation tour ahead of the November election. “These are going to be the best selling masks of all time,” he decried confidently. .“And boy don’t they look good? It was my idea, y’know, but we had some of the brightest people working on this project for over 48 hours. And the results – well, you can tell for yourself. You love them?” he offered to the cheering audience.  “Watch it. Next week Sleepy Joe and the do-nothing Democrats will release an ever bigger mask than he’s already got. You’ll be like: is that a burqa? It is – it’s a burqa mask because they are trying to take away our freedoms.” After whipping the crowd into a frenzy he finished by making the promise “Neither you, nor I, will ever, EVER, catch this hoax virus if you are wearing one of our MAGA Masks. The doctors – they’ve told me. Very smart doctors and scientists. The best. They’ve told me its impossible to catch any virus, even any particles of whatever, if you are wearing this mask. It’s true folks. It’s a promise.”

Masks are already on-sale on the Trump campaign website for $35 each with proceeds going towards the building of a new Trump Tower in Pyongyang. Figures released by the Trump campaign suggest that over 500 million masks have been ordered in the United States alone which has caught many forecasters by surprise considering the target audience was people who were unlikely to actually wear them in the first place.

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